A Day in the Life of Me

McDonalds Burger After 4 Years

2010-01-28T09:27:00.000-08:00

And this is exactly why I try to avoid processed foods. Wow...

That long?

2009-12-27T08:20:00.001-08:00

I opened up my blog this morning to see how long it has been since I posted anything... 3 1/2 months? Really?

I used to be fairly regular about updating this thing. Hmm... maybe I stopped because I felt people weren't reading... but wait... I started this as more of a therapeutic release... and... of course people aren't reading if I am not writing anything... so... what's the deal then?! Life gets so busy sometimes, I guess.

So here's a snapshot of my busy few months!

We found a new home for our big dog Ella. She was so high energy and with my long hours at work, she wasn't getting the attention she deserved. It was a very hard decision, but we know she is in a better home. Her new "mom" is a teacher and works shorter days. She lives on over an acre of land now, and gets to run around during the day. From what I have been told, she is very happy now. I still miss her, but I don't miss trying to give her a 1-2 mile walk after being away from home for 12 hours at work!

I started a new small group at my church. I love this group of women. We just finished up a Beth Moore bible study on the book of Esther. It was really interesting to fully dive into a bible study by a woman, in a book about a woman, with a group of women in different stages of life. I learned a lot about myself by studying the life of Esther.

Ivan & I also attended a 13 week financial class at our church called Financial Peace University. The goal of this course is to help people become better stewards of their money, reduce debt, and save money. Every week, we watched an hour long DVD of Dave Ramsey (a well known financial advisor) and broke into small groups to discuss the information we learned. There was a lot of homework, but consequently, we learned a lot. In those 13 weeks, Ivan and I reduced our total debt (including car loans) by almost $7,000. We are on a strict budget that can sometimes be very frustrating, but seeing the numbers is worth it!

In October, we had a pumpkin carving party with a great friend of mine, Sara, and her boyfriend. Sara has 2 Chihuahuas also, and they are really good friends with our Nigel & Twiggy. All 4 dogs ran around while we carved, played games, and chatted. Good times all around. I carved a zombie-girl, Ivan carved a "scary face," Sara carved a vampire, and Tim... well, Tim carved Greg Oden. The Blazers player. It was a ton of fun.

(Sara's Vampire, Ivan's Scary Face, my Zombie-girl)

(And Tim's Greg Oden )

November brought colder weather and of course, Thanksgiving. I cooked & ate all day long. Ivan's dad had to work that day, so we had them over for a breakfast... we ate a sausage- potato- egg- cheese casserole, biscuits, juice, and fruit. Once that was cleaned up, I started on our Thanksgiving dinner (I told you all we did was eat!). Since it was just Ivan and I, I roasted a chicken instead of a turkey, but I still made all the sides. ALL of them. Green bean casserole, rolls, stuffing, cranberry sauce, strawberry jello-pretzel salad (sounds gross, but trust me. Its the perfect combo of sweet & salty. Plus it reminds me of home), mashed potatoes & gravy, and of course... pumpkin pie.

(everything looks, well, brown... but trust me, it was super tasty!)

And here we are, at the end of December. December brought even colder weather. Multnomah falls froze over. And we are just at the beginning of winter. This So-Cal girl still isn't used to this kind of weather! December is always a busy month for us. Ivan just turned 38 on the 7th. We spend almost a week in Southern California visiting my family (can I just brag at how cute my niece is?). We also got to spend the day at Disneyland with our great friends Nate & Nikki. The park was practically empty so we got to do every ride more than once. So much fun! Christmas came and went very quickly this year. Ivan and I didn't buy gifts for anyone this year. Instead, we gave that money to a family we knew that was unemployed with 2 small children. Along with a few women from my Bible study, we were able to give this family food, necessities, gifts, and even a gift card for a night out to dinner. I have to say, even though I missed seeing all the shiny wrapped presents under the tree, it was so rewarding to know that we made a difference in someone elses life this year. Plus, we didn't worry about the shopping rush!

There you go. A highlight reel of the past few months. Hopefully I can remember to carve some time out for blogging in the new year! (The year 2010? Really?!)

So unfair...

2009-09-03T20:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Neighbor,

Your cooking always smells insanely delicious. Although I have tried, I can not cook Indian food. You are Indian. And cook Indian food. Which is one of my absolute favorites. And you have yet to invite me over for dinner. Or leave leftovers on my porch. And I can smell your delicious Tandoori at all times. We share a wall. Lets share some food.
Just having me smell it constantly is not fair. Not fair at all.
I will bring you Chicken Parmesan if you bring me Chicken Vindaloo with naan.

Sincerely,
Gina

My, how time flies...

2009-08-20T07:35:00.000-07:00

3 years ago, I married Ivan Johnson Jr.

In those 3 years, life has been sweet & rough, painful & joyful, but most of all it has been incredibly blessed.

Happy Anniversary Ivan ~ I love you!

TTC sucks.

2009-08-19T16:37:00.001-07:00

I am having a rough go at the whole "cheerful positive hopeful" TTC thing this month.

*** SIDENOTE *** For those of you lucky enough to not need to know what TTC means, let me enlighten you ~ TTC means Trying To Conceive. Cute name at first, but after 2 1/2 years of TTC, it is just plain annoying.

*** WARNING *** This blog post is just negative. And slightly graphic. And I am sorry. But its my blog and its helping me process so pthbtttttttttttttttttttttt (sticking tongue out).

Its been 2 1/2 years of Ivan & I trying to conceive a baby. In the scheme of things, its not that long of a time. But in the life of a couple TTC? Its ridiculously long and painful. Let me break it down in some other numbers to put it in perspective.

36 ~ monthly cycles, each ending with the overwhelming disappointment of getting my period.
36 ~ times I have to tearfully tell my husband that no, sorry, this month isn't "the" month.
36 ~ cycles of being extremely cautious of what I eat/drink "just in case," taking a prenatal, and planning your evenings around "doing it" during the right times.
4 ~ medical procedures to test various culprits of infertility.
1 ~ surgery to treat/test yet another culprit of infertility.
3 ~ months of fertility drugs that cause mood swings, hot flashes, cramps and swelling.
2 ~ "I really thought I was this time" devastating moments.
14 ~ friends/family/coworkers pregnant.
9 ~ months of being supportive and happy for each of those 14 friends/family/coworkers when most days, the depression and jealousy tears you up inside to even see them... then the guilt sets in for feeling jealous/depressed at all during their joyful time.
Countless ~ times I have heard "just relax and it will happen" or "try xyz - it worked for someone I know" or "maybe its not in God's plan for you to have kids."
Countless ~ tears and "suck it up and keep going" moments.
1 ~ diagnosis of "unexplained infertility."

Infertility causes something very strange to happen in "personal" conversations. People you barely know will ask you questions about sexual positions & frequency, lube, sperm count, cervical mucus, hormonal balances and countless other topics. I wouldn't normally talk about vaginal acidity with most people (doctor and best friends aside), so I kind of wonder what makes them think that all of a sudden they feel its okay. A word of advice to people who know someone ttc? Sometimes just being there and trying to be understanding is more than enough.

I apologize in advance to my friends who are pregnant or recently had kids. Its very hard for me. Baby showers make me want to cry. Seeing your pregnant "glow" or baby bump makes me want to cry. Hearing your joyful stories of motherhood, 1st birthdays, ultrasounds and morning sickness makes me want to cry. I am not a jealous person, but this eats at the core of me and makes me so green-eyed with envy. And the hardest part? Because I love you, I can't and won't avoid you. You are in my life because I love you. And I want you to be in my life, because I love you. But sometimes it's too much.

It's hard.

It sucks.

I wish it didn't.

But some days are better than others. And I clutch on to hope and faith like it is the only thing that will keep me alive during this time. Because it is. And as long as I have hope, I will be okay.

You're Blessed...

2009-08-17T12:44:00.000-07:00

I was reading a blog I follow, and the blogger was reflecting on what Jesus said at the Sermon on the Mount. He was referring to how Jesus likes it when we are simple and honest. To illustrate his point, he referenced The Message Bible. I rarely read The Message translation because I feel like sometimes it "dumbs down" (for lack of a better phrase) the Bible. But I decided to read Matthew in the Message anyway... and I am so glad I did.

"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you, there is more of God and his Rule."
~ Matthew 5:3 (Msg.)

Wow. Stopped me in my tracks. What a simple and powerful way to put it!

You are blessed when you are at the end of your rope. Not out of luck. Not hopeless. Blessed. Jesus doesn't say you won't be in pain, or that you won't feel lost and scared. He doesn't deny the fact that sometimes you will be out of options, and its gonna get hard. What he promises is that you will be blessed despite the difficulty. Why? Simply because when you give up control, it gives God room to work in your life.

I needed this. I really really needed this. Leave it to Jesus to be the eternal optimist. Since I am definitely nearing the end of my rope, I decided to read on.

"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

Not only that—count yourselves blessed every time people put you down or throw you out or speak lies about you to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and they are uncomfortable. You can be glad when that happens—give a cheer, even!—for though they don't like it, I do! And all heaven applauds. And know that you are in good company. My prophets and witnesses have always gotten into this kind of trouble."
~ Matthew 5:4-12 (Msg.)

Can I get an Amen?!?

So... um... yeah...

2009-08-05T19:50:00.000-07:00

I was at Trader Joes after work yesterday... walking up and down the aisles, looking at all the fun stuff, smelling the produce... and listening to the music played overhead. As I was poking through the rice selection, I heard a cute catchy happy song. I knew I had heard it before but couldn't for the life of me say who it was that sang it. Kind of Jason Mraz-ish, but a little more pop. I kept finding myself bouncing to the beat a little bit... then completely froze in my tracks as I realized who it was.

Yup. Jonas Brothers.

So... um... yeah... Awesome.

Kelly Deanne Huddleston

2009-06-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

So much has happened in the past few months.

For anyone who doesn't know, Ivan's sister Kelly has been battling lung cancer since the end of 2008. After a stretch of chemo & radiation, she had part of her lung removed in February. The cancer seemed to be gone. Things took a quick turn for the worse in the past few months. The cancer came back very aggressively and Kelly got pneumonia. She was hospitalized with problems breathing and fluid in her lungs. The cancer spread quickly throughout her body and the doctors told her there was no more they could do. Within a day of that sad news, Kelly passed away, surrounded by her family.

Kelly is survived by her husband (Darren), 3 sons (Jacob, Jared & Corey), parents (Ivan Sr. & Georgia, 2 brothers & sis-in-laws on the Johnson side (Ivan Jr. & me, Jeremiah & Kathy), and a host of loved ones on the Huddleston side. That doesn't even include the cousins, aunts, nieces & nephews, and many loved ones who adored Kelly.

Kelly constantly praised the Lord, singing almost non-stop. She was a wonderful mother, wife, friend, and (most recently to me, although known to Ivan & Jeremiah from birth) a true blessing as a sister. Jesus was her heart and she left this world with a peaceful understanding that she was on to bigger, better things.

I love and miss Kelly so much already. She touched my life in ways I can not begin to explain. I am sorry for the time we should have spent together but never did. She is an inspiration to me, and truly the example of love that Christ wants us to be.

Gina's Kitchen ~ New Blog!

2009-03-15T18:55:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I have said that I want to be this generation's Punk-Rock Martha Stewart. For anyone that knows me, this isn't too far of a stretch. I can give you tips on getting stains out of your carpet while whipping up a delicious antipasti platter, which I have paired with a complimentary Pinot Noir... all in heels and a skirt! Okay, mainly its jeans and Converse, but whatever... you get the idea.

Today I started a new blog in that very spirit. Its called Ginas Kitchen. The main idea behind the blog is to get people to "think outside the recipe box."

Check out my new blog & let me know what you think!

http://ginamarieskitchen.blogspot.com/

Dreaming

2009-02-18T07:55:00.001-08:00

Dream interpretation has always been interesting to me. The past few weeks, I have been having insanely vivid dreams that often jolt me awake. That is an obvious sign that there is something in my life I need to address.

Last night, I had a dream of visiting a friend I recently reconnected with. While at the airport waiting for my flight home, 2 planes crashed into the walkway to the terminal... the second right after the first had been cleaned up. The crashes weren't too terrible (just enough to scrape up the front of the plane and rip off part of the metal) and happened while the planes were already landed and just taxi-ing up to the terminal. After the crashes, I looked at my itenerary to make sure my plane was not one of the ones that crashed. It wasn't, but I did realize that my flight was supposed to leave 12 hours or so ago. When I went to the gate to talk to a rep, they told me there was nothing they could do for me, and I would have to wait at the airport until further notice. Then I woke up in a sweat and felt stressed out! I couldnt shake the feeling for an hour or so.

In trying to interpret this dream, I came across a few key ideas...

Airplane:
To dream that you miss your connection flight, indicates that you are feeling helpless and trapped by some situation. You feel that you are being held back, either physically or mentally. Alternatively, the dream may also suggest that you are feeling disconnected in some aspect of your life - work, relationship or home life.
To dream that a plane crashes, suggests that you have set overly high and unrealistic goals for yourself. Your goals may be too high and are impossible to realize. You are in danger of having it come crashing down. Alternatively, your lack of confidence, self-defeating attitude and self-doubt toward the goals you have set for yourself is represented by the crashing airplane; you do not believe in your ability to attain those goals. Loss of power and uncertainty in achieving your goals are also signified.
To dream that you miss your connection flight, indicates that you are feeling helpless and trapped by some situation. You feel that you are being held back, either physically or mentally. Alternatively, the dream may also suggest that you are feeling disconnected in some aspect of your life - work, relationship or home life.

Airport:
To see an airport in your dream, symbolizes birth (arrivals) and death (departures). If the airport is busy, then it signifies the desire for freedom, high ideals, ambition, and hopes. It is an indication that you are approaching a new departure in your life. Some new idea is taking off or is ready to take off. You may be experiencing a new relationship, new career path or new adventure.

Traveling:
To dream that you are traveling, represents the path toward your life goals. It also parallels your daily routine and how you are progressing along. Alternatively, it signifies a desire to escape. If your travels come to an end, then it symbolizes successful completion of your goals.

So.... to conclude... I guess that I am feeling stuck on my path toward goals in my life? Hmm... That would make sense on many levels. Weight loss, unsatisfaction in my career path, etc. Interesting stuff!

Check out Dream Moods and see if your dreams match up to their interpretations. I would love to hear if its accurate for you too!

What a month!

2009-02-04T07:51:00.001-08:00

January is over and what a month it was!

Ivan's surgery went really well and he is now in "recovery mode." His incision was about 4-5 inches long. Last Friday, he had a follow up appointment and the staples (yes, STAPLES) were removed. Ivan is healing really well and has been doing more with every day that goes by. He still has to wear his brace 24/7, with the exception of showering, and can not bend his knee.

I have been trying to get back on track with my fitness goals. It's harder since I started a new 4 day work week. It's extremely difficult to squeeze in a workout when you are up by 4:30am and don't get home until almost 6:30pm... then have dogs, dinner, housework, and a husband to deal with (not necessarily in that order!). As is, I barely get 6 hours of sleep. But because of my inability to work out M-Thur, I have forced myself to get to the gym on my 3 days off. And when I go, I am SERIOUS about it. I am on the treadmill for an hour, and usually lift weights too.

I hate it for the first 20 minutes, but once I push past the negative thinking (I'm so tired! My legs are sore! I shouldn't be working out when Ivan is home with a bum leg!), the rest is cake. Well, not cake, but much more enjoyable. I love how strong and capable I feel when I am done with my workout. It's a great feeling to have acheived a concrete goal... for example, over 600 calories burned, or lifting 5 more pounds than I could last week.

If only I could figure out a way to get a few more hours in the day... I know that if I had 1 or 2 more workouts a week, this whole "losing weight" thing would be much quicker!

Ouch! Part 2...

2009-01-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Ivan had a follow-up appointment and xrays to determine the full extent of his knee injury, as well as a course of treatment. Unfortunately, its not as simple as we had hoped.

Ivan tore his Patella Tendon (which holds your kneecap in place and allows your leg to bend) pretty badly. His kneecap is "free floating" in his leg... around his lower thigh. Crazy! He needs surgery to repair the tear, which is scheduled for the morning of Monday the 19th. Basically, the surgeon will make a vertical incision over his knee, suture the torn tendon back together... through drilled holes in his kneecap... so it heals properly. He is looking at 6 weeks in a brace, then he can start physical therapy. We are praying that he gains full mobility relatively quickly, even though the doctor said it might take 6 months to a year.

This is Ivan's first surgery (at age 37, thats quite impressive) so he is a little nervous about it. We have complete and utter faith that God is watching over us, and he will be fine.

Ouch!

2009-01-11T17:15:00.000-08:00

Ivan hurt his knee yesterday. Long story short, he fell while running on a wet track. He thinks that the kneecap disclocated and then "popped" back in place. Ouch! After a trip to the ER, the doctor determined that Ivan's knee and leg did not have any breaks (thank God!) but wants him to follow up with an MRI on Wednesday to determine if there is any damage to the tendons. We are definitely praying that he doesn't have significant damage. ACL surgery and the like are NOT fun.

In the meantime, my poor husband has to wear a knee brace. And use crutches. And take it easy and stay off his leg as much as possible. And take vicodin. And be waited on by his ever-loving wife. :)

Happy New Year!

2009-01-02T10:35:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone!

Ivan & I rung in the new year in style... by snoring the night away! I have had a cold for a few days now, and after a few glasses of wine and some nyquil, I was out cold by 10pm. What party animals we are! :)

I can not believe that its already 2009. 2008 was a crazy-busy year, full of happy and sad times.... 12 months that went by so unbelievably quickly, especially the last month. In December, we celebrated Ivans birthday, Christmas, my birthday, and had a trip to San Diego to visit my family and a few friends. Plus, we had a killer snowstorm that had us waiting out the weather in the comfort of our homes (with 3 stir crazy puppies!). We bought a new car too. What a crazy few weeks!

This year, we vacationed in Las Vegas, the Caribbean, Southern California, and the Oregon coast. We played hard, but worked harder. Ivan got a new job, and I started a new schedule with longer days. We have had new additions to the family (my brother's first born child), and health scares (Ivan's sister is battling lung cancer). We had 3 car accidents in a 5 month period, but were blessed enough to come out the other side with just a few bruises. We have lost some weight and gained some back. Ivan & I have struggled with the emotional turmoil that goes along with trying to conceive with no luck. We have been affected by the economy, but have been blessed to keep our jobs. We as Amercians historically ushered in the first black president elect. Friends have moved out of state, and Ivan & I have been carefully weighing the pros and cons of our desire to move as well. Overall, 2008 was a rollercoaster of emotions and situations. Needless to say, we are really looking forward to 2009.
There is something promising about the fresh start of a new year.

I hope that 2009 promises to be a good one for you and your loved ones. May God bless you over the next 12 months, and always.

Senior Choir does HipHop

2008-12-17T20:56:00.000-08:00

Awesome. On so many levels. :)

December "Blahs"

2008-12-03T15:25:00.000-08:00

What is it about this time of year that seems to give everyone a case of the "blahs?" It seems like people wind up with shortened tempers, saddened hearts, and just a general feeling of listlessness. I know I am personally guilty of all 3. Every year around this time, I think about all of my shortcomings in the past 12 months, and the New Years resolutions I failed to keep. Even though I have been out of sunny So Cal for 5 years now, I still miss the 70 degree "winter" days... where you can walk your dog in the evening without packing a parka. I want to curl up in bed and not go to work, knowing that when I get home it will be just as dark and cold as when I left 12 hours earlier... but maybe a little wetter. I just feel, well, BLAH.

This year, I am doing my best to not become a victim to the December Blahs. I am working on a positive attitude, and trying not to complain as much. It's hard for me. I am a complainer by nature... not that I am unhappy, I just like to complain! That's how I communicate people! :) But I didn't realize just how much I complained until I started my goal to stop it altogether. Just trying to answer Ivan's question of "How was your day?" became difficult. I started off slowly by answering "it could be worse" or "not too bad," all the while trying to force my weary face into a smile while cooking dinner and cleaning up puppy potty accidents for the umpteenth time.

It's gotten easier to be positive though, and I am starting to actually believe my answers. When I say "I am just thankful to have a job," I truly mean it... no false pretenses. Sure, I still struggle with fighting through the "blahs" but this new positive attitude is helping.

I hope to read "The Last Lecture" soon. My friend Sara told me about it a while ago, and it sounds like now might be the time for me to read it. Sara said the book was really inspiring and helped her in her own goal with keeping a positive outlook. Until then, I am doing just fine... and blessed beyond belief. Honestly. :)

Things that make me happy

2008-11-29T16:53:00.001-08:00

Martha Stewart makes me happy. Snoop Dogg makes me happy. Mashed potatoes made with butter and cream cheese make me happy. Martha Stewart & Snoop Dogg MAKING mashed potatoes? WHAT? Fo shizzle mashed po-nizzle... :)

Tomorrow ~ The Great American Smoke Out

2008-11-19T08:10:00.000-08:00

The Great American Smoke Out is taking place again this year tomorrow, November 20th. I challenge all you smokers out there to invest in the quality of your life... even if for just one day.

No matter how old you are or how long you've smoked, quitting will help you live longer. People who stop smoking before age 50 cut their risk of dying in the next 15 years by half compared to those who don’t quit smoking. Ex-smokers (like me) enjoy a higher quality of life with fewer illnesses from cold and flu viruses, better self-reported health, and reduced rates of bronchitis and pneumonia.

Obvously, never starting to smoke is the best way to prevent smoking related illness. But did you know that quitting can actually reverse some damage? Its never too late to change your health.

Here are some quick facts about the positive results of quitting smoking:

- 20 minutes after quitting: Your heart rate and blood pressure drops.
- 12 hours after quitting: The carbon monoxide level in your blood drops to normal.
- 2 weeks to 3 months after quitting: Your circulation improves and your lung function increases.
- 1 to 9 months after quitting: Coughing and shortness of breath decrease; cilia (tiny hair-like structures that move mucus out of the lungs) regain normal function in the lungs, increasing the ability to handle mucus, clean the lungs, and reduce the risk of infection.
- 1 year after quitting: The excess risk of coronary heart disease is half that of a smoker's.
- 5 years after quitting: Your stroke risk is reduced to that of a nonsmoker 5 to 15 years after quitting.
- 10 years after quitting: The lung cancer death rate is about half that of a continuing smoker, and your risk of cancer of the mouth, throat, esophagus, bladder, cervix, and pancreas decrease.
- 15 years after quitting: The risk of coronary heart disease is that of a non-smoker's.

Wow... In just 24 hours from your last cigar or cigarette, your body begins to heal itself. I challenge you smokers out there to give your body a break. At least for 24 hours. I know you can do it! You are worth it!

Did you know... Disney edition!

2008-11-18T08:40:00.000-08:00

Did you know...

The airspace over Disneyland is a “no fly zone.” Unless they have special authorization, aircraft are not allowed to fly below 3,000 feet anywhere within a three-mile radius of the park.

Donald Duck’s middle name is Fauntleroy.

There are "hidden Mickeys" in all areas of Disneyland. Most of them are shaped just like the head and ears, but some are full body. Look for them on the rides (*hint* In the Haunted Mansion, look at the plates in the dining room!).

According to Kodak, approximately 4% of amateur photographs in the US are taken at Disneyland or Disneyworld.

Steve Martin used to work at Disneyland. He sold guidebooks, was a cowboy trick-roper, and eventually worked at the magic shop.

And finally... Did you know... Disneyland is one of my favorite places in the world!?!

Welcome to the world, baby girl!

2008-11-17T07:33:00.000-08:00

My brothers wife gave birth to a beautiful healthy baby girl named Valentina this weekend. She is their first child, and they are unbelievably happy.
Welcome to the world baby girl - I can't wait to meet you!

Ella!

2008-11-10T15:52:00.001-08:00

Ivan & I got another dog this weekend. She is a German Shepherd & Lab mix and is absolutely adorable! We named her Ella. Believe it or not, this time it was mainly Ivan's idea. We got Ella at the Oregon Humane Society, which I STRONGLY recommend if you are considering adopting a new pet.

My dad emailed me and called Ivan & I the "Brad and Angelina" of the animal world. We have 2 Mexican animals, 1 German, and American cats. He asked if we were planning on adopting anything from Indonesia or Africa next. :) What can I say??? I love animals! If I had the room, I would probably have a whole zoo!

Nigel & Twiggy aren't too sure what to think about this "thing" in their house. I am sure they will warm up eventually... but for now, our 4 pound Chihuahuas are laying down the law and putting 8 pound Ella in her place!

10 Things

2008-11-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

A while back, a friend of mine posted a blog with 10 things about her day. The idea is that you are supposed to "tag" someone to do the same. I like this idea (well, minus the tagging part. If you want to do this, AWESOME. But I am not gonna waste our time tagging you! :) You are supposed to post or email pictures too, but that's not gonna happen either! So without further delay...

10 THINGS ABOUT MY DAY

1. My dog is currently taking every single toy out of her toy box. She doesn't even play with them... She is just removing them one by one, in order of favorites (the little leopard that makes crinkly noises was first), and dropping the about 6 inches to the left of the box. I have no clue why this is so fun for her.

2. I am trying to figure out what to make for dinner. I was thinking some kind of chili or soup would be good because its cold and grey out. And I have a half loaf of super yummy bread that I don't want to get stale before we can eat it... so soup & bread seems like a good idea.

3. Coffee just tastes better when you are in your PJs.

4. I have 4 paint samples on the wall that I have been staring at while typing. I really wanted to paint my downstairs a golden-orangey color that looked kind of Tuscan. The wood in my kitchen never matched any of the colors I liked, so after a few months of trying in vain to find the perfect gold, I decided to go with green. :) I have it narrowed down to 4 shades and will probably wind up changing my mind again in another few months.

5. Sarah just IM'd me. Proof that even on my day off, I still multi-task.

6. I should really be doing something different... like working out, doing laundry, cleaning the house, or grocery shopping. But this week at work was INSANE so I am just enjoying doing nothing.

7. I wonder what the weather is like in San Diego right now... (Hi Brad!)

8. I wonder what the weather is like in Canada right now... (Hi Nikki!)

9. My cat is playing with the blinds. Once again, I dont know why that is so much fun for her.

10. I am deciding whether jogging around Glendoveer or at the gym is a better option. Right now, Glendoveer is winning.

Walking in Oregon

2008-11-03T09:14:00.000-08:00

I am so lucky to live by Glendoveer golf course. It has a beautiful wooded walking path that surrounds it. I try to walk it a few times a week (although by the end of some days, all I want is a glass of wine & my couch, not a walk!). This Saturday, I went on the 2 1/2 mile loop alone. I turned on my ipod, laced up my sneakers, and enjoyed some "me time." It was so wonderful!
The trees were alive with the vibrancy of fall - fire red, buttery yellow, and rich orange decorated my path... white clouds against a misty grey sky. To walk along with the beautiful scenery on a cold drizzly day was a little bit of heaven on earth! Oh - and did I mention how happy the squirrels & bunnies make me? :) I just thought I would pass on a few pictures I snapped with my phone (sorry - didn't get the bright red japanese maples).
I need more mornings like this!

My thoughts exactly!

2008-10-31T13:12:00.000-07:00

"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much."

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."

~ Mother Teresa

To the pumpkins in my patch!

2008-10-27T14:55:00.000-07:00

Being a Christian is like being a pumpkin.

God lifts you up, takes you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. He opens you up, touches you deep inside and scoops out all the yucky stuff... including the seeds of doubt, hate, greed, etc.

Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside you to shine for all the world to see.

This was passed on to me from another pumpkin. I liked this enough to send it to all the pumpkins in my patch.

Happy Fall!

Grocery Outlet is AWESOME.

2008-10-24T14:23:00.000-07:00

The economy sucks right now and even groceries are getting expensive. Since Ivan & I are trying to curb our spending and live on a budget, I have been looking at just how much we spend on groceries.
So today, I decided to go to Grocery Outlet... a store whose name alone makes me think of dusty packages of expired generic food. I put my prejudice aside and decided to go in. Oh. My. Gosh. This store is awesome.
I know this is too much information, and you probably don't care, but I am telling you anyways. Here is my own product list and comparison, just like they do at Winco or Albertsons... lol. I was on a time crunch (and had no fridge) since I went on my lunch break, but they do sell perishables and produce at great prices too.

~~~ I bought ~~~
- 4 bottles of Amys Organic salad dressing (healthy AND delish)
- 4 bottles of wine (Cab, Rose, Pinot Gris & a blend)
- Peanut Butter cracker sandwiches (my favorite!)
- 3 Marinara Sauce (Name brand)
- 1 Alfredo Sauce (Also name brand)
- Tortilla chips (generic but not expired or dusty)
- Tostitos Nacho Cheese dip (cause everyone needs a little cheese)
- Ocean Spray diet cran-grape juice (6 pack of individual bottles)
- Irish Spring body wash (cause it makes Ivan smell gooooood!)
- Ceramic Glazed plant pot (very elegant - creme & espresso colored)
- 6 superduper big scented candles (I bought the same ones at Target & Walmart a few weeks earlier, so I KNOW these are good)
~~~ GRAND TOTAL ~~~
$44.08

Amazing isnt it? :) At any other store I would have spent around $60 on just the food, drinks & body wash, even with sale prices. The candles and ceramic pot would have cost about $70 at Target! It would have cost about $130 for everything I bought. Which gives me a total savings of...... drumroll......... $85.92.

Totally worth digging through the dusty expired generic crap. Don't you think?

I can't breeeeeeathe....

2008-10-17T10:18:00.001-07:00

I am so "blech" today. Don't know if its allergies or a cold, but I have a killer headache and my nose is running like crazy. And my ears are stuffed up too.
But the good news is that I stayed home from work and am laying on the couch... planning on spending some serious quality time with my remote. :)
Have a great day people!
Oh... and the Bead for Life party is still on for tomorrow. Email me if you want more details!

Women Of Faith - Infinite Grace

2008-10-14T08:42:00.000-07:00

This weekend, my friend Sarah & I went to the Women of Faith conference. The theme this year was "Infinite Grace." It was so great to hang out with Sarah (as always!), especially in a setting like this one. I really liked hearing the speakers talk about their lives. It was really cool for me to see how every one of them could speak about the raw pain that they have been through in their lives... and even find humor in it now (Yes, Christians can be funny too... lol).

There was a booth there for WorldVision, an organization that (among many other things) helps AIDS/HIV ravaged countries. Their goal was to get as many children "sponsored" as possible. God was really pulling on my heart to do something, so I decided to ask Ivan if we could sponsor a child from Uganda. He said no... so the next day, I did it anyways. :) Okay, seriously though, I called Ivan the 2nd day of the conference from the WorldVision table, practically in tears because I felt so strongly that we needed to help one of these children. I asked him AGAIN if we could make room in our already tight budget to help a child. One of the things I love about my husband, is that when he knows something is important to me, he will usually let my heart guide our decisions. That being said... we now are sponsoring a beautiful 5 year old girl from Uganda named Fiona. 87% of the money we give goes directly to the child and her family. That's a really high percentage compared to some other child sponsorship programs. (find out more at the World Vision website)

It was a great weekend & I am looking forward to going again next year!

Determination

2008-10-06T12:29:00.000-07:00

"Okay God, I get it. No seriously. I GET it. You don't need to rub it in, I know that I am lacking in determination, motivation, persistence, and stick-to-it-iveness... but does every church service have to remind me of it? I guess you've got my attention, so I am listening... What next? Love you - Gina"

That's been my dialogue with God the past few weeks. It seems like everything is pointing me to my own poor attitude. I have been struggling with wanting to give up lately. But Jesus doesn't want me to. This weeks sermon at East Hill was about Determination. A few weeks ago, it was about Persistence. Each week, the worship songs could be the playlist to my life. I went to the movie "Fireproof" this weekend... guess what its about? A marriage on the rocks, where the husband refuses to give up on it. And the only way he can, is by listening to God. Are you catching the drift here? I know I did!

I have a newfound feeling of determination. And it feels good to be spiritually refreshed.

New Blog Title

2008-10-06T10:02:00.000-07:00

For some reason I felt like I needed a catchy title to my blog... not just MY LIFE or something like that. :) So I tried "My Life Is..." so that I could title each blog with what my life was at the moment I was writing. But MAN! It's hard to come up with descriptive titles to blog entries that begin with "My Life Is..."!!! And I am OCD enough to feel obligated to stick to my own rules of formatting... How annoying!

I am hoping that having a new title will help me be more free in how I write my blogs. Lets see if my theory works!

So my new title is...... drumroll..... "A Day in the Life of Me."

My Life is... Out of my control

2008-09-26T09:13:00.000-07:00

I love Oingo Boingo. Danny Elfman is a musical genius, in my humble opinion. Even if you don't know who he is, you know his work. From the music of Nightmare Before Christmas and The Simpsons to the super-hit Weird Science (that everyone knows!). But most people don't realize how inspiring or comforting some of his music can be.

I have been struggling for a while with trying to get pregnant (I will get back to Oingo Boingo eventually). There are so many people who try to "help" by giving me positive thoughts... "it will all work out for the best"... "I am sure that this time next year, you will have a happy healthy baby"... "I went through this too, and I came out on the other side. Now my daughter is 7"... and so on and so on. I appreciate all their kind words and thoughts. I love that people care enough about me to even attempt the sometimes great burden of being compassionate.

That being said, sometimes all you want is someone to say to you "that sucks." And leave it at that. It doesn't mean that you don't want them to care and be positive. Its just that sometimes, you want to be comforted with the idea that its okay to feel negative about the situation. By so many people telling you that you should be positive about the future, when all you want is to give up, is frustrating sometimes...

I feel like a failure for not being able to "look on the bright side."
I feel like my body has failed me for not being able to do one of the most basic things that God created women to do.
I feel like I am letting my husband down.
I feel like if other people have "been through this too" and "come out the other side" with children, that I should be able to as well.
I feel like sometimes people are afraid to tell me that they see my struggle with getting pregnant as it is - IT SUCKS.

So, back to Oingo Boingo. There is a song called Out Of Control that I have been listening to over and over on my ipod. Basically, this song puts how I have been feeling into words. I absolutely love that Danny Elfman basically says "I know you've heard it all before, so I am just going to sit with you and be with you while you are feeling spent and sorry for yourself." How cool is that?! The last line even says "I wish I could tell you that it's all a bad dream but I can't." Wow. I love that. There is comfort in someone being honest and flat out telling you "I don't know if things are going to get better. Life sucks sometimes. And I will be here for you."

In a way, it can be interpreted as God singing this song to His children (Okay, I realize that comparing God to Danny Elfman's music is a stretch, but hear me out). God and my husband are the only 2 people I feel that I don't have to be strong around. I can be honest and weak at their feet, or laid in their laps. And they will tell me "Things do suck right now. I can't tell you that it will change, but I can tell you that you aren't going to give up. I won't let you." What a gift to be able to have someone just be with you when you are in such a place. Or when you are lacking control.

I realize that this blog is WAY longer than any other I have posted, but it has been cathartic. Please do me a favor, and look up this song... listen to it. I hope you will be able to understand how I feel. If you can't listen, please just read the lyrics. I hope that it gives someone else comfort. YES, sometimes life sucks. And I wish I could tell you that it will change. But I can't. However, I will be here to tell you it's okay to feel that way, and I will be here if you need an emotional resting place. Me, God, & Danny Elfman are on your side ;-D

OUT OF CONTROL

Everyone says sooner or later you'll reach the end of the line.
When things get rough some think its easy to jump the ship.
You decide...

I say--don't throw it away
Theres about a million reasons why
Though you've heard them all before
And you're getting very tired
Lay your head on my lap and I'll sing you this lullaby

Don't you know
That everyone around you
Has felt the pain you feel today
You're out of control yeah--and you want someone to tell you
When you wake up in the morning it'll only be a dream

Theres a cloud-rollin overhead and it seems to rain on no one else
Theres a black sun--casting a black shadow,
And I know you feel so all alone
You're out of control--and you want the world to love you
Or maybe you just want a chance to let them know
That you live and breathe and suffer
And your back is in the corner and you've got nowhere to go

Nothin for nothin--everythings right at your fingertips--for a price
Who ever said that life on this planet would ever be paradise
I say--don't throw it away, you've got too many things to say
If you throw away your life, if you throw away your life . . .
The world will never be the same

You're out of control--and you move without direction
And people look right through your soul
You're out of control--and you want someone to tell you
When you wake up in the morning it'll only be a dream
And I wish that I could tell you, it'll only be a dream

My Life is... Complicated

2008-09-15T12:20:00.000-07:00

I am going through a spiritual conflict right now. One of my greatest desires in life is to be Christ-like whenever I can. This in principle, means putting others first... sacrificing & giving... and above all, loving with your entire existence.

Normally, I am very good at this. I will bend over backwards at any given time to help strangers and friends alike. But sometimes by doing that, it has been at my expense. The times I have extended my friendship over and over to women who were quick to judge or would not reciprocate my open heart. The times I have given gifts to brighten someones day, even though it means I can't afford to get that massage I have always wanted but never spoiled myself with. The times I have used every hour of vacation time, and every dollar of credit limit to visit my family, who has only been able to come to Oregon once since I have lived here.

So where do you draw the line? What should you do when supporting someone else might not be the healthiest thing for you? In the words of Joyce Meyer, "Loving others does not come easily or without personal sacrifice. Each time we choose to love someone, it will cost us something - time, money, or effort. That's why we are told to count the cost before we make the commitment." How true this is! Maybe I don't evaluate the cost before committing. Or maybe, I evaluate the cost, and it still seems a low price to pay for someone elses well-being. More often than not, I am willing to sacrifice all that I have. But there are times when I just dont know that I have anything left to sacrifice... no time, money or effort left to pay the "cost" of my commitment.

Is it selfish to choose your own needs over the needs of someone else? Yes - I believe it is. But can you be selfish and still Christ-like? I haven't figured that one out yet...

My Life is... Photographed

2008-08-20T10:59:00.000-07:00

For our 2nd Anniversary, I set a website up for Ivan's photography business. Check it out here! :)

My Life is... Blessed

2008-08-18T15:18:00.000-07:00

Its official - Ivan was offered a new position with MSN (Medical Staffing Network) and after some salary negotiations, he accepted! The position is a lot more responsibility, but it has some perks. Some benefits are a slightly higher salary, higher bonus potential, and (my personal favorite) no more weekend shifts.

I am so proud of Ivan for showing his coworkers & boss that he is the right man for the job. He is always the first one to help other coworkers out, and works his butt off. His clients love him, and the coworker that resigned from the position Ivan is taking over gave him a stellar letter of recommendation.

So once again, God proved to us that He is true to His promise to us for tithing. We have had a really rough stretch financially, and still kept giving back our 10% for God. What a blessing that this turned out the way it did! The timing couldn't be better.

My Life is... Shocking.

2008-08-13T16:24:00.000-07:00

Last night around 10:15pm, a car came screeching into our neighborhood & hit my car that was parked in my driveway, which spun it almost perpendicular to the house. The driver & passengers abandoned the car & ran away, leaving the car running with a knife on the floor & a strong alcohol smell that permeated the air. The Lincoln towncar took out our electric box on the way to smash into my Ford, so the entire neighborhood was without power. The cops were able to find one of the suspects, which a neighbor positively ID'd. At this point, we dont know whose car it was, nor do we know if the driver/car has insurance.

At this point, my car is undriveable (transmission, axle & wheel problems, etc), so we had it towed to the autobody shop. Amazingly, it looks much better than it is! So for the 2nd time in a 4 week period, I had to take the car to CarStar in Oregon City & get a rental car (for those of you who don't know, Ivan & I got into a fender bender a few weeks ago and just got the car back). Needless to say, this is an expensive month for us.

The good news? Ivan's car was parked on the street and was missed by a foot or so. The fire hydrant was missed by inches. The electrical wiring didn't cause a fire. My car was inches away from crashing into the house but stopped just in time. We had neighbors in the front yard of their house who were able to give police a clear description of the suspects as they fled. We have car insurance. AND the best part is that we weren't in the car when it got hit. Talk about counting your blessings!

Now we just have to sort through the legal and insurance process!

My Life is... Surprising

2008-08-06T13:44:00.000-07:00

Ivan & I have been on track with South Beach for a month now. This morning I got on the scale and was pleasantly surprised (which, if you know me, is IMPOSSIBLE to do when I weigh myself!). In 4 weeks, I have lost 17 pounds. That's amazing! I weigh less than I have in 5 years!!! What a nice surprise for my "Humpday." The best part is that the whole process has been pretty easy. We haven't been working out (sad, but true) and haven't been obsessive about calorie counting like I usually get when I try to lose weight. Ivan is doing great too - he is about 3 pounds away from his first goal (I am about 2 away from mine). Once we hit our first goals, we plan on incorporating regular exercise into our routine. Ivan wants to build muscle and I want to tone up and slim down.
With any luck, we will be at our first goals by our anniversary (Aug. 20th) and will be able to enjoy a non-South-Beach dinner out!!! I know that I am dreaming about a glass of Pinot Grigio!

My Life Is... Blessed

2008-07-30T11:31:00.001-07:00

For as much as I complain (which is a bad habit of mine), my life is amazingly blessed. I am so thankful for all I have been given. A quick rundown of some of the things I am thankful for right now...

- My husband
- My house
- My dogs
- My job
- My weight loss
- My friends
- Health Insurance
- Clean drinking water
- GODS UNCONDITIONAL AND UNFAILING LOVE

Its amazing how when you stop and really reflect on your life, you can realize that there are SO many things to be thankful for.

My Life is... Germ filled.

2008-07-25T11:59:00.000-07:00

I am sick. Coughing, runny nose, can't breathe, want to sleep but can't, SICK. This is honestly the worst cold I have had in a few years - its kicking my butt! I am home sick again, for the 3rd day in a row. Nothing is touching the symptoms - not dayquil, not nyquil, and not chloroseptic lozenges. And to top it off, my nose is shredded from using so many tissues. Normally, I buy Kleenex with Lotion (aahhhh) as they are the only tissues I can use on a daily basis without my nose turning as red as a radish. BUT, a month or so ago, I found out that Kleenex, and its parent company Kimberly Clark, is not a "green" corporation, so I stopped supporting them.

Not only are they not "green," they actually are harming the Earth at an alarming rate. Did you know that it takes 90 years to grow enough tree-pulp for a single box of Kleenex? Amazing. Kimberly Clark refuses to use recycled material, and they use approximately 3 1/2 MILLION TONS of virgin tree fiber each year. They clearcut forests, some of which are extremely old ("ancient" according to Greenpeace), and don't replace the trees for reforestation either. Crazy, isn't it?

So long story short, I am grumpy too :0)

Oh, and check out this link to NRDC. Its a wallet-sized guide to paper products to avoid and to buy when shopping. Good info.

My Life Is... cutting out the fat!

2008-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

2 Weeks of our South Beach Diet down and the results are pretty amazing. Ivan has lost 9.5 pounds, and I have lost 12.5 pounds. WOW. I am about 7 pounds away from my first of many small goals. Its pretty exciting. A few of our friends are doing the South Beach Diet as well and they are also having great results. My grandma was even asking about it too!

This week we started "Phase 2" of the diet, where you start reintroducing "good carbs." Today for breakfast we got to have a piece of toast (gasp!). It tasted soooo good. We bought a brand from Trader Joe's called Ezekiel 4:9 (www.foodforlife.com). The company named itself after the bible verse which reads "Take wheat and barley, beans and lentils, millet and spelt; put them in a storage jar and use them to make bread for yourself." The company uses those ingredients to make a flourless, and therefore low-glycemic, bread. Pretty cool! I guess if Jesus would ever endorse a brand of bread, this might be it... lol.

My next goal is to begin jogging. I hate running, but only because it is so difficult for me since I am out of shape. It has always been a goal of mine to be able to run for lengths at a time. Dropping a few pounds should definitely help with my endurance. I am looking forward to seeing how far I can push myself!

My Life is... better with teamwork

2008-07-17T15:34:00.000-07:00

At my heaviest, a few years ago, I weighed about 50 pounds more than I do now. I have always struggled with my weight. I was doing really well on the weight loss bandwagon, but still had some more weight to lose before I hit my goal. Then I took a diet "break" and went to Vegas (drinking & buffets!) and on a cruise (more drinking & buffets!). I quickly put on 12 of the pounds I had lost. YIKES. Ivan and I have decided to get back on track and get serious about our health again. We promised that we would become a team, and support each other in our desires to be healthier.

This past week and a half, Ivan & I have been following our own version of the South Beach Diet... low carb, no fruit (for now), lots of veggies & lean meats. I used to be a vegetarian so I absolutely love the food. Ivan, on the other hand, has been having a harder time adjusting to it. He is not a salad fan and is leery of most health food and certain veggies (hello eggplant!). But we have been supporting eachother through the good (grilled asparagus at dinner) and the not so good (V8 juice at breakfast). I am really proud of him for sticking with this when it goes against every grain of his burger-and-fries-with-a-shake being.

I am really looking forward to weighing in after the first 2 weeks of our diet are up. Ivan has lost a few pounds and so have I. Stay tuned for our continuing updates! GO TEAM JOHNSON! :)

My life is.... a Journey

2008-07-15T10:58:00.000-07:00

Journey (n) : an act or instance of traveling from one place to another.

I love the word "Journey." By its very definition, you can't be on a journey unless you are actively moving. It is something you DO, not something that happens to you. It is a promise that you are on your way to something new, and hopefully better.

I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately and have come to the conclusion that for a while now, I have been getting lazy. By that, I mean that I have developed a bad habit of letting life happen to me, without giving myself much of a say in it. That is so far from "traveling from one place to another." I think the excuse I have been using was that "if God wants it to happen, it will happen." I still agree with this wholeheartedly! But I also believe that we can get in God's way of trying to fulfill His divine will in our lives. That's what makes my journey so tricky…

There are many aspects of my life right now that are "traveling from one place to another." I am starting to get more clarity on where I need to move on certain sticky subjects that I have been avoiding. For a long time, whenever I prayed about them, the answer I got was "wait." Not getting pregnant? "Wait." Don’t like your job? "Wait." Can’t get motivated to get in shape? "Wait." So I stopped everything, sat down, and waited. And waited. And waited. And nothing happened. Well, it was obvious I missed the mark. So I prayed about it again and I got some serious clarity. God was telling me to wait, not to stop. When He said "wait," He wanted me to be patient because good things were coming, not that I wouldn't have to work for them.

Now, I am realizing that I can shape my journey and still be "right with God's Will." Yes, God carved the path of my life's journeys, but I will never get to the end of them if I sit still and wait for the finish line to come to me.